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Month: November 2015

26 Life Lessons at 26

26 Life Lessons at 26

So. I’m finally 26. I say finally because I’ve been waiting for age 25 to end. I’m one of those people that gets nostalgic about new seasons and finds joy in letting years/ages go. 25 was difficult. I lost my nan, the ‘dream job’ turned out to be anything but and the one after wasn’t much better. I’m happier now, finally, but it was a pretty tough year.

25 is an odd age as well, I’ve found. Even Adele mentioned it in her comeback statement. I feel like I finally got my shit together, somehow. I was kind of thrust into the deep end with many things and came out a better, more mature and responsible person. I’m glad I coped with it so well but I don’t think I’m quite at the stage of saying I’m glad it happened because honestly, I could have done without the heartache and frustration.

Anyway, I have put together a list of 26 things I’ve learned in the years up to age 26. Enjoy. x

  1. You’ll never be ‘set for life’ as there’s no such thing
    It’s possible to win/inherent/earn enough money to leave yourself ‘set for life’, that’s the only aspect of your life that ever could be ‘set for life’. And even that can change. But I won’t pretend to understand finance.Family members die, friends drift apart, lovers leave you and pets die. There will be wounds that cannot be healed, friendships that can’t be rebuilt and actions that cannot be forgiven. It all happens. We’re not set for life and really, that’s a good thing. As Frank Turner said, if you’re all about the destination, take a fucking flight.
  2. Stop taking everything so personally- it’s very rarely about you
    In the spirit of honesty, I’ll admit I take everything personally. I take everything to heart. I’ve reached a point now where I’m at least aware of what I’m doing, and that I need to unlearn it all. Whenever I cancel on people, don’t reply to messages, don’t attend the party, I’m doing it because of me. I’m in a bad place, I’m busy, I’m tired, I don’t want to talk to anybody. Nobody specifically, I’m just emotionally drained. I know that it’s usually the same for others. 
  3. Sometimes the good thing happens because good things happen
    I’ve had a tough year. I think I may have mentioned it once or twice? And whenever something good has been coming my way like the trip to Download or my new job, I’ve convinced myself they weren’t actually happening and something would get in the way. I’ve always done this. I think on some level it’s trust issues and another is me not believing I deserve good things to happen to me. This year, all misery aside, I made a point of counting down much to the frustration of my friends. I counted the days until I was sure the good thing was going to happen. And it did. Because they do. If bad things can happen, it stands to reason that good things can happen. Otherwise the bad things wouldn’t be bad, they’d just be. As there was no opposite. I know what I mean.
  4. A bedtime routine is still necessary as an adult
  5. Sometimes, you’re not the right fit for a job, a person, a lifestyle that you aspired to be. And that’s okay.
  6. Loyalty is earned
  7. As is respect
    I’m a bit iffy on the whole idea of respect as it is but I certainly don’t dish it out to people just because of who or what they are to me. Even respect the dead is a bizarre concept to me.
  8. It’s okay to let yourself feel sad when you need to
    Forcing happiness or suffocating your misery will only come back to hurt you in the future.
    That’s the thing about pain. It demands to be felt’ – The Fault in Our Stars
  9. Speaking of John Green, watch Harvey
  10. Seeing other women as enemies will only ever hold you back. Having a group of supportive female friends is invaluable.
    I’ll actually probably write more on this in a dedicated post because it was an important lesson and one I’m so glad that I learned.
  11. Being at the barrier often ruins the gig experience 
  12. You can get through anything. Five minutes at a time.
    This is something myself and my friend Shannon reiterate to each other on bad/difficult days. You got through the last five minutes, the last half hour, etc. You can do it again. It’s definitely one of my biggest mottos.
  13. It’s not your job to fix everyone or everything.
  14. Don’t listen when they tell you that these are your best years.
    Don’t let anybody protect your ears.
    It’s best that you hear what they don’t want you to hear.
    It’s better to have pressure from peers than not have peers.
    Beer won’t give you chest hair. Spicy food won’t make it curl.
    When you think you’ve got it all figured out and then everything collapses…
    trust me, kid…it’s not the end of the world. (Sage Francis)
  15. The stages of mourning can be repeated, mixed around and don’t necessarily define how people tend to cope.
  16. Shopping is fun with friends but better alone
  17. For the sake of your own sanity, grudges need to have an expiration date
  18. Once you’ve accepted your flaws, nobody can use them against you” – George R.R Martin
  19. “Fuck god and fuck the devil and fuck the church too. I’m responsible for my actions. I don’t need to hide behind nothing. The devil didn’t make me do it. I did it… Whatever I did.”- Lemmy
  20. Not liking things doesn’t make you cool
    This is quite funny in retrospect. I used to shun pop music, cheesy films (well I pretended to shun these) because I thought it made me cool. Being unenthusiastic and negative about things that others enjoy isn’t cool. It’s pretty dull.
  21. Few things beat a night in with friends and wine
  22. Home, for me, isn’t a place. It’s a person.
  23. Compassion and sensitivity aren’t character flaws
  24. Putting yourself first will help you effectively help others
  25. Practicing gratitude will change your life 
  26. Nothing is more freeing, and rewarding, than choosing to be yourself and removing all masks
Reading my Livejournal 10 years later pt 2

Reading my Livejournal 10 years later pt 2

sarahedit

You can find part one here.

Okay so we left my Livejournal with me being drunk and stupid at the end of Summer in 2005. I was ungrounded once my Standard Grades came through, I had started an oddly complicated relationship with P who openly had a crush on myself and my friend K. I can’t obviously use real names because I’m only here to embarrass myself.

I ended things with P once I realised how stupidly complicated everything was and from October, I was dating M.

I left school around 3 months into the school year and had been accepted onto a computing course that started the following January.

Here we go…

Wednesday, December 7th, 2005

Okay…..

Today’s rant is about……

 

EMO FASHION

It’s driving me crazy!  I mean, fair enough, people get depressed and stuff but why oh why is EVERYTHING suddenly emo?! I say I like a sad song and Im “emo” I like writinbg poetry, again, “emo” i MEAN WTF?! this is just my personality ffs

Yes, Sarah, your personality was emo. Bravo.

I think I got really angry the other day when a good friend of mine said that blink 182 were emo *raised eyebrow* Oh and my converse are also apparently emo! HELL NO! Converse are my rock and roll shoes =D I love them more than life itself and Im not having them labelled

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!!!!!!!!!

Can’t carry on ranting about that,,….Im getting adgitated

The emo doth protest too much, methinks.

I will say, in my defence, I truly did love those Converse and felt at least 70% cooler whilst wearing them. So this is cringy but I forgive it because God bless my little emo heart.

Monday, February 6th, 2006

I won’t post this whole blog post because honestly, I was being a pretty horrible about a girl I’d fallen out with and while it’s funny, it’s also unnecessarily cruel and I’m still ashamed.

I will say, I thought this was really cutting:

 

Shes a wannabe goth somedays and other days a wannabe emo- its fricken pathetic !!!

Her hair is stupid- shes put this dumb excuse for a fringe in and describes it as emo- LMFAO !!!!!

… Wow. “LMFAO!!!!!” Really? Fucking hell. This was actually pretty vicious for me and I do remember the person in question was just as fiery as me (and probably still is, I hope she is) but really what an absolute goose I was. I used to read over posts before publishing them and I genuinely thought this was acceptable.

Okay.

Now remember, from around October, I was dating M. He was my first proper boyfriend really and he really adored me, it was lovely. We had a cute romance and I still think back on it quite fondly. After the seemingly endless series of idiots I dated, M was a breath of fresh air and even my mum liked him.

We broke up after 6 months of being together. I can’t really remember why- we both just seemed to agree that our relationship had run it’s course. This is one of the most sincere posts I wrote on that godforsaken blog and it’s strange to read such brutal honesty without ‘text’ talk or acronyms. I think I was genuinely upset!

Wednesday March 8th, 2006

Thats it people. Me and M have split up and it fucking sucks.
He was pretty much everything to me. I didn’t deserve him though.
I didn’t do the dumping it was pretty much coming though. We both knew it.
This’ll sound strange, but even picturing yourself without someone after just 6 months feels horrible.I love him.

Ever feel like you don’t know what you’ve got ’til it’s gone? Voila….that’s me right now. I know us breaking up was the right thing to do. Doesn’t make it any easier though. He wont stay friends with me. He’s not the kinda person to do that. I’m not holding it against him, but I gonna miss him soooo fucking much. We started talking last June, he’s been in my life for quite a while, I’ve spoken to him pretty much every night since September.

He gave the most amazing hugs ever. He genuinely loved me. Not my body, or my friends… ME. He accepted every flaw I had and wasn’t creeped out when I told him about my dad. How often do u find someone like that? Exactly. Rarely. And I fucked it up. As always.

I don’t wanna have people say, “I told you so”, I don’t need it.

God ! I’m so stupid!!!!!

Maybe I’m just not meant to fall in love…

 

Ah, bless. Melodrama and excessive punctuation. But sincerity. At least I was understanding the difference between decent boys and fuckboys.

Monday, March 20th, 2006

Right…
Monday morning’s offcially suck.
Got a lift off Ross :] which was nice of him but his music is pure SHITE
Now I’m sat in college with a lecturer I wana shoot OMG she’s talking again !
SHUTUP YOU COW !

AHEM….
Weekend was okay :]
Went to glasgow with Jamie on Saturday which was cool…..some banter….some alchohol….just a little :p
We went the cinema…. Jamie wanted to see Chicken Little but I wanted to see Date Movie…
I WON LALALALLALA

Christ. So my lecturer had the GALL to talk to me?! What a COW.

Date Movie was horrendous, I don’t know why I’m LALALALALLA’ing over this terrible victory.

Anyway, a couple of weeks later, this undeniable tragedy happened:

Capture

 

 

GRRRRRR.

Til next time. x