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27 life lessons at 27

27 life lessons at 27

falls-of-lanark

Good grief I’m 27.

It’s the time of year again where I list all of the lessons learned in the past year. This past year has been one massive upheaval. My life turned upside down French Prince style and I am just now starting to find my feet again. Sort of.

  1. Ask for help when you need it
    I am pretty bad for letting things truly pile on top of me until I have an eventual breakdown and surprise everybody with statements on just how bad things have gotten. I struggle to let people help me. My pride is definitely one of my worst traits and once I finally let that go and asked the people that had been trying to help to be there for me, my life improved 100%. Things were still difficult but I wasn’t alone.
  2. Take the risk
    As much as I talk about how difficult this year has been, I have found myself in the ideal job for me. I love it. I love the people I work with, I love the work I do, I never resent going to work. I love it so much I’m not even fussed that it’s another 3 months until I have a decent amount of time off. I got this job because I took a risk. I didn’t actually think I’d even get to the interview stage and here I am, 2 interviews and 8 months after applying, working for a great company.
  3. Stay busy
    This isn’t for everybody but for me, staying busy keeps my head above water. Staying creative, product and sociable is so important, especially when times are tough
  4. … but acknowledge when you need a break, and take it
  5. Explore more
    My friend Greig and I have been friends for 10 years but it was only this year that we decided to start actually going on mini adventures together. We spent hours walking around the Falls of Clyde, we did the audio tour of Doune Castle (highly recommended!), we’ve explored the fields around Greig’s local area and most recently, we visited Pollok Park for the first time. We have some more exciting adventures planned for next year, even a wee trip away overnight together! These days out are ideal for blowing away cobwebs.
  6. What you want matters
    I think it’s a millenial thing. We’ve only ever known recession in our adult lives, really, so we spend a lot of time being grateful for what we have and in terms of material things, that is excellent. Relationships, romantic or otherwise, not so much. What I want from a friendship, a relationship, fuck it – a kiss! Matters.
  7. There’s strength in being vulnerable
    I can’t really expand on this as I have a big piece planned on it but seriously, I’m not ashamed of being soft, vulnerable, anything. It’s bravery.
  8. “How people treat other people is a direct reflection of how they feel about themselves.” ― Paulo Coelho
  9. More people care than you ever think
  10. It’s never too late to take the steps to becoming who you want to be 
  11. It’s okay to be sad
    It is no secret that I was sad this year. I still am a lot of the time. I have this awful habit of trying to push feelings away but recently, I’ve accepted that sometimes, I just am sad. And that’s okay.
  12. I’ll keep you safe, you keep me strong”
  13. Let people look after you
    It never occurred to me after my breakup that my friends actually wanted to look after me. I felt like a burden on them. I was sad enough, why put them through it, too? Turns out they wanted to help. They wanted to hold my hand through dark times, they wanted me to be myself around them, even if  myself was nothing short of a broken mess. Through all of this heartache and sadness, I’ve never felt alone. The outpouring of love towards me has been overwhelming in the very best way. Allowing people to look after me, saved me.
  14. If nothing else, Tinder is good for the ego. I’ve still got it. Sorta.
  15. There is no such thing as too much Sangria.
    Seriously.
  16. Make plans. Make plans. Make plans.
    Making plans really helps me. Knowing that there are things to look forward to, things to focus on, helps. As do countdown timer apps.
  17. Write often
    Even if I know it won’t be published, even if I’m not 100% confident in what I’m writing, I write.
  18. If somebody sends you a link on OkCupid, don’t open it
    … Seriously. Blegh. I should know better.
  19. Better yet, just delete your OkCupid account
  20. Have confidence in your decisions
    From TV shows to jobs, owning my decisions has been SO worthwhile. I am learning to trust my intuition more.
  21. The Mountain Goats are underrated and are great for so many occasions
  22. Home is where the cats are
  23. Treat. Yo. Self.
  24. “Apathy is a cancer” – B Dolan
    With 2016 being so very… 2016, it’s tempting to give in to apathy. God knows it’d be easier. But I refuse. I’m angry, I’m despairing and I’m determined. I can only do so much but if I can make tiny changes, in the tiny space of the world that I occupy, it’s something.
  25. There are not enough candles and fairy lights in the world to satiate my hunger
  26. Some people come into your life and are exactly what you need at that specific time. And that’s enough.
  27. If you can stay hopeful, you’re indestructible. 

 

30 day TREAT YOURSELF challenge

30 day TREAT YOURSELF challenge

treat-yourself

I failed Blogtober. I’m not even sorry. Any time I wasn’t writing, I was drinking wine, I was watching movies, I was on dates, I was not stressing out about not writing for Blogtober. It was a good challenge, and I admire those that got through it but man I’m so done with 30 day challenges.

I saw somebody say today that she’s cutting out Netflix and chocolate in November AND she’s attempting NaNoWriMo. Again, commendable but where do we draw the line? Why are we so consistently determined to suffer? Another one I’ve seen is 30 days of gratitude. I’m a big cheerleader for gratitude and I think recognising what I have to be grateful for has made me a happier, better person but sometimes, like today, I’m not grateful and dude, that’s fine. That’s more than fine!

Despite 2016 being some never-ending hell, despite Brexit, despite the uncertainty of our country’s future, we are still not letting ourselves be pissed off. We’re still going on about embracing mindfulness. We’re still squashing down emotions and trying to out-perfect ourselves. Enough. I can’t watch it any more guys. It’s been a tough old year, we need to be more gentle on ourselves.

Give yourself a break! TREAT. YO. SELF.

If you insist on doing a 30 day challenge, might I suggest my one. That I just made up.

  1. Be angry. Feel. Scream. Whatever, just let it all out. Fuck it. Don’t harm anyone, obviously.
  2. See that dickhead? The one that has been pissing you off for months? The one who makes you fake-smile so hard you think your cheeks might blow up? Have a good ol’ rant about them. A big rant. Let it allllll the fuck out. I know, right? Why do they sneeze SO LOUDLY?!
  3. Cancel plans. You didn’t want to go. They know, deep down, you don’t want to go. Just cancel them and basque in the sweet relief that this brings.
  4. Okay, just for some “posi vibes”, buy yourself that thing. The thing you keep going back to. The thing that has been following you around the internet since you first went on the page. Buy it. You won’t spend that money on anything else worthwhile.
  5. Have you earned that nap? Who fucking cares? Nap. Should you really be napping when you could be doing more productive things? Who cares? Nap.
  6. It’s Sunday. You had a takeaway on Friday, you were out last night so really, you’ve met your calorie limit for the week. But that means nothing, it’s Sunday, they’re depressing. Get the pizza you’re craving. If you’re going for pizza, you may as well go all out. Don’t offend your own senses by getting low-fat pizza.
  7. Trying to listen to music that is refined and looks cool when people spy on your Spotify? Stop. Listen to whatever. Why are you even ashamed of the music you listen to? Fuck what other people think, music is there to be enjoyed. Just enjoy it. Everybody loves Bieber these days anyway.
  8. Been meaning to unfollow somebody on Twitter but don’t want to cause drama? Fuck the drama, unfollow them. Treat yourself to a less infuriating feed.
  9. You have been meaning to read that book and yeah, we all should be reading more but just this once… Watch your tacky show. You love it. That’s all that matters.
  10. Fall asleep looking at your phone. It’s bad for you but so is capitalism and here we are.
  11. Fancy skipping the gym? GO FOR IT. I’m proud of you for your resilience against that sweaty hellhole. Just think, you won’t have to watch a bunch of insufferable LADS take over machines tonight because you’re not going to the gym.
  12. Can the dishes reaaaallly be put off til tomorrow? Yup. Do it.
  13. Fuck it, ignore them today too. It’s Sunday.
  14. Treat yourself for doing the dishes by going to that thing you weren’t sure if you could justify. Here is your justification.
  15. Go to a park, enjoy what’s left of Autumn, embrace nature and take some selfies because damn, you look cute today. Embracing nature and your beauty do not need to be mutually exclusive. Also, there will be dogs and it is nothing short of an outrage if you don’t take photos of the dogs for your friends.
  16. No, you really don’t want to go to the Christmas party. So don’t say you will. Just don’t go. Your colleagues shouldn’t have to put up with your eye-rolling but more importantly, your eyes are vital and should not be rolled as much as they inevitably will be at the Christmas do.
  17. Go to the cinema alone. It will maybe make you feel a little more wholesome, independent, mindful but it will definitely ensure that you don’t have somebody nudging you every time something funny/remarkable/shocking happens.
  18. What a hellish week eh? Have a wee cry. We all love a wee cry, it’s fine.
  19. Have a big bubble bath. No need for it to be Lush products, just a big bath. Listen to a podcast you love. Go for a nap after it because post-bath naps are the best. Don’t even bother getting changed, just flop down in your towel for an hour or so. Four hours. Whatever. You do you.
  20. Anything you think you can’t justify in your weekly shop, here is your justification: TREAT. YO. SELF. Those cookies are not going to eat themselves.
  21. You do need to get round to watching Stranger Things. Everybody says it’s the best show, ever, but y’know what? Why not watch your favourite show that you’ve already seen 30 times? You’re not ready to start a new series and that’s cool.
  22. It’s not December yet and everybody is berating you for ‘already’ watching Christmas movies. Fuck them. Love, Actually is a classic and can be watched multiple times between now and Christmas. Watch the movie. Regardless of when you start celebrating Christmas, “To me, you are perfect”.
  23. That champagne that’s saved for a special occasion? That occasion is today! Congratulations! I’m so thrilled for you! Enjoy your mid-week drinks!
  24. Don’t look at the news today. Have a day off. Give your brain a day off. Watch some kitten cam videos.
  25. She said what!? Who cares? Have a nice day of not acknowledging anything outrageous on social media. Other people will chime in. You don’t need to. Treat yourself.
  26. Last Saturday of November can only mean one thing – TREAT YO SELF SATURDAY. You’re going to be stressed about Christmas for the next few weekends so this weekend, do nothing
  27. I meant nothing.
  28. Remember when that person was not as much of a dick as they are now? You’ve been meaning to talk to them about it for, ooh, two years maybe? Cut them out. Cut them loose. You don’t need this stress.
  29. Feeling pretty proud of something you’ve done recently? Tell people! Embrace their compliments and stop feeling like you ought not to be so ‘showy’. Be as showy as you want, babe, you worked hard on this. Or you didn’t. Who cares, you still pulled it off.
  30. PAYDAY. TREAT YO SELF. Buy that relative that not-so-secretly hates you something a little less expensive this year and spend the remainder on YOU.
Adventures with a kilt company

Adventures with a kilt company

groundskeeper-willie

I’ve been working at a kilt company for 6 months now. It’s easily my favourite job that I’ve ever had and it’s somehow made me love Scotland even more. I love it.

6 months is no time at-all but I have never felt so settled in a job so quickly. I thought I’d share some things I’ve learned in my time at my lovely wee company.

  1. Working for what is mostly a family company can be a little intimidating at times but I was never treated like a ‘new girl’. Once you’re in, you’re in. Just like family.
  2. There are SO MANY gorgeous tartans out there! One of my favourites is Hebridean Heather tartan but there are so, so many of them and I have actually seen far more tartans that I love than ones I’ve not quite taken to.
  3. The Scots were ruthless. Writing about Scottish history for a SUPER SECRET COOL PROJECT has taught me so much more than I ever did at school (though I left my Scottish high school after 2 years so it was a low bar).
  4. Scottish wedding traditions are crazy and also really, really interesting. For example, up in the highlands there is a tradition called The Blackening where traditionally, a groom, but now a bride and groom are “kidnapped” by their friends and relatives and covered in a range of things such as eggs, mud, etc and paraded through their village. It’s all in good fun but also… WTF HIGHLANDS?!
  5. Watching the whole kilt making process is surprisingly fascinating and seeing it done, still, by hand, is actually a wee bit moving.
  6. Kilts are great. And heavy.
  7. If you work around kilts enough, you get pretty passionate about how they are worn. I notice when men aren’t wearing them correctly and yes, of course there’s a wrong way to wear them and I apparently care about that!
  8. People love Scotland. I have spoken to so many people that have told me how much they love our wee corner of the world. So many that have found tenuous links to Scottish lineage just because they’re so fond of Scotland. It’s lovely.
  9. The wedding industry doesn’t seem to be quite as cut-throat as people make it out to be. I’ve really enjoyed being a part of it and talking to people about their weddings!
  10. The Marketing team work together in an office in Glasgow Collective. The collective has a huge range of companies from a feminist embroidery business to specialist agencies dedicated to the drinks industry. We have free coffee all day, every day from the amazing Dear Green Coffee, an in house Boston Terrier called Darcy and a bunch of other dogs who come to visit! It’s unique, to say the least!

Working here has been the one positive thing in a pretty dark year and long may it continue…!

 

 

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Recently

Recently

I have slept through most of my free time today so this is just a quick roundup of everything I’ve been enjoying lately!

Listening to…

The new Alter Bridge album The Last Hero! WOW. I didn’t actually think they’d ever release an album that rivalled Blackbird and this truly, truly does. Once I finished the album, I instantly restarted it. I can’t believe what they’ve pulled off and I really hope I can manage to nab a ticket to their Glasgow show because those songs live… I can’t even imagine.

KCRW Strangers Podcast Lea Thau

KCRW’s Strangers podcastI am not much of a podcast person – I’m trying to be but I usually end up putting on music which is pretty annoying but Strangers caught my attention.

Lea Thau, Peabody Award winner & former Director of The Moth, has created Strangers, featuring true stories about people we meet, the heartbreaks we suffer, the kindnesses we encounter, and those frightful moments when we discover that we aren’t even who we thought we were…

The show is absolutely gorgeous. So many beautifully told stories about a whole range of human experiences. What stood out most to me, though, was the Love Hurts series. Following a breakdown in a long-term relationship, host Lea Thau has been dating for four years. She hasn’t settled into a new relationship and in the Love Hurts series, Lea revisits the people she’s dated to ask why it didn’t work out with them.

It’s such a raw, brave thing to do, especially on air. She asks all of the questions that most of us are too afraid to especially the all-important – “did I scare you off by being myself”?

Reading…

Lemmy – the definitive biography by Mick Wall. When Lemmy died, I wrote that nobody seemed to have bad words to say about Lemmy and as something of a superfan, I honestly thought this was true. I have watched and read so many things about him, I’ve followed his career for so long that I now get pretty bored when I read a new Lemmy/Motörhead book because I’ve heard it all before.

This book has completely unravelled everything I thought I knew about Lemmy. Written by a journalist who was respected by the man himself, it reaches the sides that not even Lemmy’s autobiography covers. It tells the stories that I hadn’t heard yet and instead of bowing down to the Lemmy is God archetype, it instead paints him as a complicated, dark soul who has fucked up a few times. In short, it offers a human insight to Lemmy.

Not to say he wasn’t a great guy, he definitely was. He was just more human than we let ourselves believe.

I’m not usually one to recommend biographies but as a huge fan of both Motörhead and Lemmy, I wholeheartedly recommend this.

Watching…

Nightcrawler movie

We had ordered Chinese food, we were cosy and we were ready to watch a film.

So, my flatmate and I scanned through Netflix, iPlayer etc until I remembered a film I’d absolutely loved a couple of years ago – Nightcrawler. I thought it’d be right up Grant’s street and I was right.

I have thought about Nightcrawler so many times since the release in 2014. It is dark, it’s twisted and it is so sinister. Jake Gyllenhaal’s performance is, in my opinion, the best of his career. I have thought so many times about how beautifully shot it was, how carefully crafted Jake Gyllenhaal’s character was and about the knot it created in my stomach from the beginning which did not unravel at any point.

When Louis Bloom, a driven man desperate for work, muscles into the world of L.A. crime journalism, he blurs the line between observer and participant to become the star of his own story. Aiding him in his effort is Nina, a TV-news veteran.

Revisiting it was a treat. There were parts I hadn’t caught on to the first time, there were parts I’d completely forgotten and watching my flatmate twist and cringe the same way I had the first time was pretty thrilling, too. I love people being as affected by films as I am.

What have you been enjoying recently? Do you have any recommendations?

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Advice to my teenage sisters

Advice to my teenage sisters

More recent pictures are too unflattering, sorry. I look adorable in this.

I have two baby sisters. One is just leaving her teens and is 19, one has just started her teen years at 13. Georgia and Megan. I don’t really play the big sister part very well, to be honest. I set a poor example for a long time and I rarely see my sisters. I do have advice that I’d like to impart onto them both, and you.

 

Nobody is worth losing your education or dreams for

I don’t think either of you are in danger of this since we’ve all covered my beautifully reckless decisions that resulted in me flunking college and theatre school but in case it hasn’t been clear enough in the past – they’re never worth it. I dropped theatre school for a boy that was happy for me to do it. 10 years on, we don’t speak and I regret my decisions. Anybody that doesn’t encourage you, or make you want to be the best you can be isn’t worth being around.

My decision to drop theatre school was my own, and I accept full blame, but him being okay with me doing it should have been a warning sign to me.

Sleep isn’t optional 

This one I’ve learned the hard way so many times. Sleep is treated as something we can afford to neglect but it’s absolutely not. Sleep is integral to mental and physical wellbeing. It’s also the absolute best. I used to only get a few hours sleep before school because I’d be texting boys, listening to music or getting engrossed in books. I don’t know if either of you will remember but for a long time I had really, really bad skin and was an irritable little shit. Okay I’m still a little irritable but embracing a good sleeping pattern changed my life, and especially my mental health.

Even now, if I’m awake til the early hours and then getting up early, I feel pretty anxious and out of sorts for the day.

On a related note – cool it with the caffeine. Stay away from energy drinks. They’re so unhealthy and the crash when you come down from them is nowhere near the lift you get from them. Especially limit your caffeine intake if you’re anxiety prone. Trust me.

Painful periods aren’t normal

Sorry, I know, TMI but if your big sister can’t say it, who will?

Periods are uncomfortable, inconvenient and yeah, you can get cramps. These cramps shouldn’t be debilitating, though and shouldn’t impact your day to day life. If you’re still in pain and uncomfortable after taking painkillers, see your doctor. We all know my endometriosis experience, and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone but especially not you two.

If you don’t feel like the doctor is taking you seriously, call me. I’ll pep talk you through your next appointment. Don’t ignore it though – even if it turns out to be nothing but unfortunate, it’s better to be safe than sorry!

(Here are the symptoms, in case you were wondering)

Line your stomach

Georgia. I’m talking to you. Megan, don’t drink underage.

If you’re going to drink alcohol, make sure you eat beforehand. Eating definitely isn’t cheating, it just means you’ll have a better time and lessens your chances of being THAT guy who got drunk too fast and went on to vom everywhere. Don’t be that guy. Nobody likes that guy. Just eat.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help

Asking for help, just asking, is such a relief I can’t even tell you. Whether it’s financial, emotional, problems with other people, work, whatever, just ask for help. You can always ask me, no matter what. You can also ask mum and if you don’t want to deal with family as well as the problem itself, there are anonymous chatlines you can call, there are even instant messenger ones but just reach out and lighten your load.

It’ll always be okay, eventually

It will. You have to let it come, but it will eventually. Always hold on to the knowledge that things will eventually turn around and you will absolutely be okay.

It’s fine to not ‘get it’

Megan, I’m sorry, I never fully got Fall Out Boy or Brand New. I like some of their songs, and I’m sure they’re great live, and I understand the appeal of them but for me, they never quite hit the spot.

I pretended they did, though, because I was insecure and felt that there must have been something wrong with me because I just wasn’t experiencing what everybody else around me seemed to.

I also didn’t, and don’t get Wes Anderson or The Coen Brothers but I pretended for a long time that I really did. I just wanted to not seem like the odd one out.

It’s fine to not experience things the way your friends do, it’s fine to not fully embrace the things your friends do. It’s fine to like a few songs but overall, not care for a band. Don’t pretend! Your tastes, your opinions, your feelings are just as valid as everybody else’s and there’s no real reason for you to conform.

Clothing sizes can vary from shop to shop

Ultimately – whatever your size, you are wonderful people and your size is wonderful. There is no right or wrong size to be.

However, if you’re like me, you can still get tripped up when a piece of clothing in your size doesn’t fit. You may have changed size or the sizing is off. The two biggest offenders for this, in my experience, are Primark and H&M. Terrible sizing. Forget the numbers and wear whatever feels comfortable.

Your problems are first world problems but that doesn’t mean that they don’t matter

Don’t tangle yourself up in a web of guilt over being upset or frustrated by your problems.

Yes, things could be worse and yes, you do have all your basic needs met and that’s wonderful but a problem is a problem. Constantly berating yourself for not being grateful enough won’t make you more grateful in the long run but it will lead to a whole lotta repression which can have a negative impact on your mental health.

“Start ignoring people who threaten your joy.
Literally, ignore them.
Say nothing.
Don’t invite any parts of them into your space.

– Alex Elle

Life is too short, terrifying and ridiculous for you to waste time on people that don’t appreciate you and get you down.

You are both incredible, intelligent, thoughtful, insightful, witty people. You don’t owe anybody your love, your friendship, anything. If people are making you miserable, if you dread seeing them, do yourself a favour and cut them the fuck out. You’re worth more, your happiness is worth more and there are better people to give your precious time to.

You’re loved

Even in the darkest times when the walls are caving in and you’re not sure how you can possibly face getting out of bed the next day, remember you are loved. And get out of bed the next day. Hiding from your problems doesn’t make them go away but it does just mount up and the prospect of facing them just gets scarier and scarier.

And anyway – I’m only ever a phonecall away, so there’s no reason to suffer alone!

Love,

Sarah xxxx

26 Life Lessons at 26

26 Life Lessons at 26

So. I’m finally 26. I say finally because I’ve been waiting for age 25 to end. I’m one of those people that gets nostalgic about new seasons and finds joy in letting years/ages go. 25 was difficult. I lost my nan, the ‘dream job’ turned out to be anything but and the one after wasn’t much better. I’m happier now, finally, but it was a pretty tough year.

25 is an odd age as well, I’ve found. Even Adele mentioned it in her comeback statement. I feel like I finally got my shit together, somehow. I was kind of thrust into the deep end with many things and came out a better, more mature and responsible person. I’m glad I coped with it so well but I don’t think I’m quite at the stage of saying I’m glad it happened because honestly, I could have done without the heartache and frustration.

Anyway, I have put together a list of 26 things I’ve learned in the years up to age 26. Enjoy. x

  1. You’ll never be ‘set for life’ as there’s no such thing
    It’s possible to win/inherent/earn enough money to leave yourself ‘set for life’, that’s the only aspect of your life that ever could be ‘set for life’. And even that can change. But I won’t pretend to understand finance.Family members die, friends drift apart, lovers leave you and pets die. There will be wounds that cannot be healed, friendships that can’t be rebuilt and actions that cannot be forgiven. It all happens. We’re not set for life and really, that’s a good thing. As Frank Turner said, if you’re all about the destination, take a fucking flight.
  2. Stop taking everything so personally- it’s very rarely about you
    In the spirit of honesty, I’ll admit I take everything personally. I take everything to heart. I’ve reached a point now where I’m at least aware of what I’m doing, and that I need to unlearn it all. Whenever I cancel on people, don’t reply to messages, don’t attend the party, I’m doing it because of me. I’m in a bad place, I’m busy, I’m tired, I don’t want to talk to anybody. Nobody specifically, I’m just emotionally drained. I know that it’s usually the same for others. 
  3. Sometimes the good thing happens because good things happen
    I’ve had a tough year. I think I may have mentioned it once or twice? And whenever something good has been coming my way like the trip to Download or my new job, I’ve convinced myself they weren’t actually happening and something would get in the way. I’ve always done this. I think on some level it’s trust issues and another is me not believing I deserve good things to happen to me. This year, all misery aside, I made a point of counting down much to the frustration of my friends. I counted the days until I was sure the good thing was going to happen. And it did. Because they do. If bad things can happen, it stands to reason that good things can happen. Otherwise the bad things wouldn’t be bad, they’d just be. As there was no opposite. I know what I mean.
  4. A bedtime routine is still necessary as an adult
  5. Sometimes, you’re not the right fit for a job, a person, a lifestyle that you aspired to be. And that’s okay.
  6. Loyalty is earned
  7. As is respect
    I’m a bit iffy on the whole idea of respect as it is but I certainly don’t dish it out to people just because of who or what they are to me. Even respect the dead is a bizarre concept to me.
  8. It’s okay to let yourself feel sad when you need to
    Forcing happiness or suffocating your misery will only come back to hurt you in the future.
    That’s the thing about pain. It demands to be felt’ – The Fault in Our Stars
  9. Speaking of John Green, watch Harvey
  10. Seeing other women as enemies will only ever hold you back. Having a group of supportive female friends is invaluable.
    I’ll actually probably write more on this in a dedicated post because it was an important lesson and one I’m so glad that I learned.
  11. Being at the barrier often ruins the gig experience 
  12. You can get through anything. Five minutes at a time.
    This is something myself and my friend Shannon reiterate to each other on bad/difficult days. You got through the last five minutes, the last half hour, etc. You can do it again. It’s definitely one of my biggest mottos.
  13. It’s not your job to fix everyone or everything.
  14. Don’t listen when they tell you that these are your best years.
    Don’t let anybody protect your ears.
    It’s best that you hear what they don’t want you to hear.
    It’s better to have pressure from peers than not have peers.
    Beer won’t give you chest hair. Spicy food won’t make it curl.
    When you think you’ve got it all figured out and then everything collapses…
    trust me, kid…it’s not the end of the world. (Sage Francis)
  15. The stages of mourning can be repeated, mixed around and don’t necessarily define how people tend to cope.
  16. Shopping is fun with friends but better alone
  17. For the sake of your own sanity, grudges need to have an expiration date
  18. Once you’ve accepted your flaws, nobody can use them against you” – George R.R Martin
  19. “Fuck god and fuck the devil and fuck the church too. I’m responsible for my actions. I don’t need to hide behind nothing. The devil didn’t make me do it. I did it… Whatever I did.”- Lemmy
  20. Not liking things doesn’t make you cool
    This is quite funny in retrospect. I used to shun pop music, cheesy films (well I pretended to shun these) because I thought it made me cool. Being unenthusiastic and negative about things that others enjoy isn’t cool. It’s pretty dull.
  21. Few things beat a night in with friends and wine
  22. Home, for me, isn’t a place. It’s a person.
  23. Compassion and sensitivity aren’t character flaws
  24. Putting yourself first will help you effectively help others
  25. Practicing gratitude will change your life 
  26. Nothing is more freeing, and rewarding, than choosing to be yourself and removing all masks
6 Things All Girls Should Know By the Time They’re 25

6 Things All Girls Should Know By the Time They’re 25

I have been 25 for 155 days. So, between being 24 and 25 I have obviously become something of a wise old owl and am definitely in a place where I can give advice to impressionable, insecure women who are younger than me and wondering if they’re doing the whole ‘life’ thing right. And of course, because I’m 25 I can also impart wisdom gained from only my own experiences and give it as blanket advice to women regardless of their circumstances.unsplash

Let’s go!

  1. These lists are bullshit.
    You’re not a bad person because you read these lists; everybody reads them. They’re called clickbait for a reason and we all would like to know what we have in store/if we’re doing things ‘right’ but when it comes to it, there’s no right way of living and everybody’s circumstances are different.
  2. You’re never too old to fucking travel
    Man, this one annoys me. Rich people telling poor people that they should just ‘drop everything’ and travel. If you can’t afford to travel, that’s fine. You can save and one day travel, if you want to. You are not even 25- stop worrying about this! The whole world will be out there in 10, 20 years so you keep doing you and stop worrying about travelling. Hell, if you don’t want to travel that’s also fine! I feel like this isn’t said enough but you are under no obligation to want to travel. I realise there are people in their 40’s who say they wish they’d travelled more but there are also those who say they wish they’d spent more time with their families.
  3. No beauty product has the power to stop your ‘ageing process’
    There is no age when you need to start thinking about looking younger or reversing your ageing process. The beauty industry has a hell of a lot to answer for but one of the most pressing questions for me is where the fuck do you get off making women feel insecure about their AGE?! Whenever I imagine using these overpriced, garbage products I imagine my face eventually looking like this. You don’t need to find your ideal product, you need to get away from the idea that your age is something to be ashamed of.
  4. 30 isn’t scary
    I refuse to believe it. Only 30 years into life and it’s done? ‘Over the hill’? Do me a favour. Your twenties are the residual hangover from your teen years, they’re tough as fuck and if you’re unhappy THAT’S OK. You don’t need to make the most of every waking moment, you need to look after yourself and your mental health. These might not be the best years of your life! In fact, I hope they’re not because it’s a little soon to be saying the golden days are over. 30 really is just an age and all the things you’re ‘supposed’ to do in your twenties can be done in your thirties. Don’t believe the hype, it’s a boring, poorly-reasoned ideal that turning 30 is all doom and gloom.
  5. There is no pre-destined age to know what you want to do with your life
    By 25, you might be in your dream career and hey, you might not have a fucking clue. Both are fine. These lists telling you that you should have taken the steps to discover your true calling are written by people who are lucky enough to have ~*~ discovered their dreams~*~. We’re in a terrible financial climate, still, and jobs aren’t everything. As hard as it may be, try to focus on other things in your life because it’ll come in time. Or it won’t. Either way, you’ll be okay. My nan didn’t have big career dreams but she did have a huge life full of love and adventure- everybody’s path is different.
  6. Happy people aren’t necessarily smug people
    Every time I read these lists, there’s a hell of a lot of snark towards people who got married or had children young and like to talk about their partners and kids often. These people aren’t bad people for being happy. They’re not necessarily smug people and making fun of them isn’t getting you anywhere. I know there’s a certain comfort in knowing everybody has their hard times and every couple goes through rough patches but it’s also fairly cynical to use their lives to feel better about your own. I read a really great article about this that really changed my mind on the happy vs smug mentality. You can read it here.

 

So there you have it! I don’t believe in these lists and I make a point to not follow them. I genuinely worry about how much they influence people or make them paranoid as whenever I’ve read them, I’ve worried I’m not enough. Not successful enough, not travelling enough, etc. When really, there’s no determined way for us to live and nobody ought to feel like they’re not enough by the standards of some writer that has had an entirely different life experience.

Don’t take this too seriously, it was absolutely tongue in cheek but really, anti-ageing products can fuck off.