You can find part one here.
Okay so we left my Livejournal with me being drunk and stupid at the end of Summer in 2005. I was ungrounded once my Standard Grades came through, I had started an oddly complicated relationship with P who openly had a crush on myself and my friend K. I can’t obviously use real names because I’m only here to embarrass myself.
I ended things with P once I realised how stupidly complicated everything was and from October, I was dating M.
I left school around 3 months into the school year and had been accepted onto a computing course that started the following January.
Here we go…
Wednesday, December 7th, 2005
Today’s rant is about……
It’s driving me crazy! I mean, fair enough, people get depressed and stuff but why oh why is EVERYTHING suddenly emo?! I say I like a sad song and Im “emo” I like writinbg poetry, again, “emo” i MEAN WTF?! this is just my personality ffs
Yes, Sarah, your personality was emo. Bravo.
I think I got really angry the other day when a good friend of mine said that blink 182 were emo *raised eyebrow* Oh and my converse are also apparently emo! HELL NO! Converse are my rock and roll shoes =D I love them more than life itself and Im not having them labelled
Can’t carry on ranting about that,,….Im getting adgitated
The emo doth protest too much, methinks.
I will say, in my defence, I truly did love those Converse and felt at least 70% cooler whilst wearing them. So this is cringy but I forgive it because God bless my little emo heart.
Monday, February 6th, 2006
I won’t post this whole blog post because honestly, I was being a pretty horrible about a girl I’d fallen out with and while it’s funny, it’s also unnecessarily cruel and I’m still ashamed.
I will say, I thought this was really cutting:
Shes a wannabe goth somedays and other days a wannabe emo- its fricken pathetic !!!
Her hair is stupid- shes put this dumb excuse for a fringe in and describes it as emo- LMFAO !!!!!
… Wow. “LMFAO!!!!!” Really? Fucking hell. This was actually pretty vicious for me and I do remember the person in question was just as fiery as me (and probably still is, I hope she is) but really what an absolute goose I was. I used to read over posts before publishing them and I genuinely thought this was acceptable.
Now remember, from around October, I was dating M. He was my first proper boyfriend really and he really adored me, it was lovely. We had a cute romance and I still think back on it quite fondly. After the seemingly endless series of idiots I dated, M was a breath of fresh air and even my mum liked him.
We broke up after 6 months of being together. I can’t really remember why- we both just seemed to agree that our relationship had run it’s course. This is one of the most sincere posts I wrote on that godforsaken blog and it’s strange to read such brutal honesty without ‘text’ talk or acronyms. I think I was genuinely upset!
Wednesday March 8th, 2006
Thats it people. Me and M have split up and it fucking sucks.
He was pretty much everything to me. I didn’t deserve him though.
I didn’t do the dumping it was pretty much coming though. We both knew it.
This’ll sound strange, but even picturing yourself without someone after just 6 months feels horrible.I love him.
Ever feel like you don’t know what you’ve got ’til it’s gone? Voila….that’s me right now. I know us breaking up was the right thing to do. Doesn’t make it any easier though. He wont stay friends with me. He’s not the kinda person to do that. I’m not holding it against him, but I gonna miss him soooo fucking much. We started talking last June, he’s been in my life for quite a while, I’ve spoken to him pretty much every night since September.
He gave the most amazing hugs ever. He genuinely loved me. Not my body, or my friends… ME. He accepted every flaw I had and wasn’t creeped out when I told him about my dad. How often do u find someone like that? Exactly. Rarely. And I fucked it up. As always.
I don’t wanna have people say, “I told you so”, I don’t need it.
God ! I’m so stupid!!!!!
Maybe I’m just not meant to fall in love…
Ah, bless. Melodrama and excessive punctuation. But sincerity. At least I was understanding the difference between decent boys and fuckboys.
Monday, March 20th, 2006
Monday morning’s offcially suck.
Got a lift off Ross :] which was nice of him but his music is pure SHITE
Now I’m sat in college with a lecturer I wana shoot OMG she’s talking again !
SHUTUP YOU COW !
Weekend was okay :]
Went to glasgow with Jamie on Saturday which was cool…..some banter….some alchohol….just a little :p
We went the cinema…. Jamie wanted to see Chicken Little but I wanted to see Date Movie…
I WON LALALALLALA
Christ. So my lecturer had the GALL to talk to me?! What a COW.
Date Movie was horrendous, I don’t know why I’m LALALALALLA’ing over this terrible victory.
Anyway, a couple of weeks later, this undeniable tragedy happened:
Til next time. x